A lot of us think that we are entitled to having good friends. And that we deserve for our best friend to care about us. News flash everybody! We don't deserve anything! But, the Bible does command us to be like Christ. And what did Christ do? 1John 4:19 says that "We love Him because He FIRST loved us". We didn't deserve His love, we didn't even ask for it, yet Christ still came all the way down to earth, suffered a humiliating death on the cross, and rose again, so that we could have eternal life with Him. Now that's love.
So, if Christ did all that for us measly little people down here, and we're supposed to imitate Christ, then what are we supposed to do? Well, we could stop acting like spoiled brats and think that we deserve people's kindness and friendship. 1John 4:10 says "Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us, and sent His son to be the propitiation for our sins." He wasn't returning our love, because we never showed any towards Him. He didn't die on the cross because He felt obligated to. He did it out of pure love. Maybe if we treated people the way Christ treated us, more often, we would start to change our twisted outlook on friendship. I know I used to, and still do sometimes, have a selfish view of what friendship is all about. It isn't about expecting that person to always be there for you, though that would be great, but it's about always being there for the other person. You, not your friend Joey, but YOU, are responsible for taking the first step, just like Christ did.
The phrase "always being there for your friend" has many aspects to it. It could mean, listening to your friend's problems and struggles. A big part of a godly friendship is praying and interceding for your friend. The Bible talks about "where much has been given, much is required". This means that if you are a friend enough to be trusted with a person's personal troubles or problems, you are responsible to pray for him or her. So, the prayer part is pretty simple, but how about intercession? That's a word that we don't exactly use in everyday conversation. The definition for intercede is to "intervene on behalf of another". Some synonyms would be to intermediate, plead, or petition. Plead is probably a good word to use. When someone's going through a really tough time, and there's nothing you can do for him/her, you gotta pray for that person. Even if the person you're praying for isn't a believer. That's what it means to intercede for someone. You're pleading and asking the Lord on their behalf. Prayer is more powerful than all the counseling in the world. So, keep that one in mind.
Also, one last thing that is essential, but probably the hardest part of a friendship, is lovingly confronting your friend when he/she is straying from the godly path. Even though we sometimes see our friends or siblings disobeying the Scriptures, we give ourselves tons of excuses why we shouldn't be honest and just point them back to Christ. We tell ourselves we don't wanna be rude, or we might come off as bossy and goody-goody, or maybe we're guilty of the same thing, and we know we'd just be a hypocrite to tell that person that what he/she is doing is bad. Wrong, wrong, wrong! As for the first two excuses, if we come in a loving and gentle way, praying beforehand for wisdom, we don't have to worry about coming across as uncaring or bossy. And if the person still thinks bad of you, even when you've come to them with the right heart and intentions, then it's probably because he/she knew about the sin or progression all along, and is embarrassed or angry that someone would point it out. You need to go to the person with the mindset that you are worse than, and even less undeserving than him/her. Always view yourself as lower. You're not on earth to set everyone straight. If you think that, you probably need a little straightening out yourself:) We're here to live as godly examples, and to share Christ's love with others. And trust me, people can tell between, "I think you're an idiot for the decisions you've made, and you need to get your act together" and, "Hey, God's been teaching me that I need to change such and such in my life lately, and maybe we could work on it together." See the difference? As for the third excuse, about being a hypocrite. If you see the same problem in your life as you're about to go correct someone else about, you better fix it first. And maybe your example will be all that person needs in order to change. Actions speak louder than words:) I know it's an old saying, but it still works!
Now, if you're gonna be a godly friend and go lovingly rebuke your fellow believers when they're doing something against the Scriptures, then expect the same thing from them. Don't turn around and get offended when a friend, or maybe even someone who has the wrong motives, rebukes you. Just search your heart, pray, and ask God to help you change. I know it can be hard, and even humiliating sometimes to accept correction, but God puts certain people in your life for a reason. And if he wants to use your friends, or even your enemies, to point out ungodly things in your life, then don't mull over who told you, and how they told you, and why they told you, just fix the problem!!! And in doing this, you will gain humility, probably one of the hardest things to attain in the Christian walk.
So, as we can see, being a good friend isn't nearly as shallow as the world portrays it. But, that's cause the world is looking for friends who will make them feel good, and flatter them. That's exactly what Proverbs says. But Christians should be looking for friends who will encourage, rebuke, and stand by them through thick and thin. And, we as Christians should also strive to be that same friend that we want to have. Let's just not forget who our best friend and example is, Jesus!
This video features Guy Penrod, a member of the Gaither Vocal Band. He is singing "What a Friend We Have in Jesus", an old, but still moving hymn. Just reflect on the words, and thank God for what an awesome friend and father He is!
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